In the time before time, ages before the gods came
into being a single creature opened it's eyes to a
universe all to itself. Nobody could ever know who
created it and he'll never tell. There wasn't
complete nothingness, there was an ever shrinking
sphere of matter in the middle of its room. To amuse
itself, he willed it to explode. The pieces formed
stars and planets, some of which sprouted life.
He thought to himself <I am everything and nothing
all at once> In his mind, for some unknowable reason,
he began to refer to himself as Nothing.
Nothing, because it existed entirely of thought,
didn't have what a mortal would call a sex, it
probably would have thought of itself as male because
it wouldn't be willing to stop and ask for directions
if it was lost.
With a wave of his thought forged hand he created the gods, somewhat lesser beings, to keep him company.
They each formed their semi physical bodies to match
their personalities. When Nothing tried to speak to
them, they either couldn't hear him or simply chose
not to listen.
He turned his focus towards the planets that had
formed. The ones that had started to sprout life
became of great interest to him. He began to watch
all of the creatures on all of the planets. He
enjoyed helping the creatures change and adapt to fit
their environments and diets. Finally, he sat down in
a savanna and decided that he was finished. He looked
around and wiped some theoretical sweat from his brow
"I suppose It's good enough for now."
He looked across the savanna once again, everything
was in its place, the lions lied in the shade, a pack
of elephants plodded towards a stream in which a hippo
stood mostly submerged.
He stood up and stormed towards the hippo and said
"What are you doing in the water?"
The hippo looked up at him and, without a moment's
hesitation said, very matter-of- factly, "it's hot."
"I don't care if you're hot! Look at yourself,
you're a land animal!"
"Not anymore." The hippo smirked in the way that
only a hippo can.
"You can't even swim!" Nothing was starting to get
"I'll walk on the bottom." Its voice demonstrated
Nothing reached into the water and grabbed the
hippo's sides in a grip tight enough to hold time
still. He pulled with all of his remaining might but
the hippo wouldn't budge. Nothing was too weak after
creating everything and guiding it's existence. He
dropped to one knee and planted his shoulder into the
hippo's side and pushed with his legs in another vein
attempt to move it. His imaginary muscles strained
like steel cables under his somewhat existent skin.
Once again the hippo didn't move more than an inch.
The hippo looked down at the exhausted Nothing and
said "are you done?"
Nothing stood up and dusted himself off. "Alright, I suppose you can stay in the-." He rushed the hippo
and lifted with all of his strength. This time the
hippo was hoisted an inch above the floor of the
stream. Nothing lost his balance and fell forward.
When the dirt on the stream bed finally settled, the
hippo had moved a total of thirteen inches.
Nothing stood once again and began to walk away.
"Well I'm not giving you gills!"
"I don't need em, I can just stand up to get air if
I'm in deep water." The hippo smiled happily to its
Since that day, no one, neither man nor god nor beast saw Nothing ever again.
Avalon Publication (December 2001)